Your Few Matter.

In today's world I think there is a huge pressure to fit in. Everyone wants to be in with _____ group, friends with _____, or at ____ event. Have you ever stopped to think once about why you want to be a part of said group? Have you ever wanted to just be friends with someone because they seemed like a genuinely nice person, but for whatever reason you did not want to be associated with them?

I know I have and still am in that boat a lot. Some days and weeks more than others, but I fall into the trap a lot. Today I came across an idea that just struck me...

Jesus did not hang with the "ultra religious" people all the time, rather he gathered some fishermen, unlikable tax collectors, and other low-status men to be his few. They then became very close friends that went out and loved all the people the ultra religious people said shouldn't be loved.

Now to me this was a huge eye-opener. Jesus did not hang out with the religious people very much and many times the religious people were the ones who caused Jesus the most trouble. Instead of trying to please the religious folk who held their heads high and did everything for show, Jesus and his crew were out feeding the hungry, giving blind men sight for the first time, telling widowed women they are valued, letting the lame walk, eating with tax collectors, and most of all allowing ALL of these people and many more know that they are loved, valued, and cherished. They let the least know that someone cares for them. They let the least know that Jesus has come to take away the rules and regulations and lets anyone and everyone be loved. Jesus did not care what people thought about his friend group or who he was hanging around. He just went around loving people and proclaiming that he was the Son of God who had come to set everyone free from the bondage of sin. Jesus was confident in his few and together they went around loving those who needed it the most.

Your few may not be the best looking crew or even the most knowledgable, but when you all focus on loving each other and your peers the way Jesus did, nothing else should matter. You and your few should encourage each other to push towards love in every situation. You should "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15) and love one another deeply. If someone has an amazing breakthrough, celebrate it. If someone has a really crappy week, guide them through it. It does not matter if y'all are the holiest or prettiest people out there or if y'all look like you just woke up, Jesus will bless your few when you lean into his love. Pray together often. Be the light to those around you. Refrain from gossip. Include anyone who seems lonely. Above all else, just be there for each other and help each other grow in her walk with Christ.

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Now some of you may be thinking, "Adeline, I do not even have one person I could call 'my few' right now." I know where you are at. I have been there sometimes it seems like far too many times and in some aspects of my life I still am there. For a long stretch of middle school and part of high school I had friends, but they were not really friends if you know what I am saying. They were pretty one-sided relationships where I was giving and there was little encouragement or gain for myself. Now, having relationships that are one-sided where you give a lot can be beneficial for a season, but it is not healthy for anyone to have ONLY that type of friendship or have them for extended periods of time. I prayed for just ONE friend that I could relate with and have a genuine relationship with, ONE. I thought I had found my few a couple of times, which they were good for a season, but quickly fell out of my life. I was getting frustrated with God because I just wanted genuine friends. I kept going back to old friendships that I knew were not healthy because I just wanted to be known. I finally realized how much I was basically being used in some relationships and cut these people off. But then I was alone. I honestly felt like no one was truly for me or with me besides my parents. I then started talking to some trusted mentors in my life about all of my troubles and this helped me feel less alone. I was known by some people who did not judge me and they encouraged me to keep praying for that one friend.

Fast forward to my junior year (long time coming I know). I finally met a few of my now closest friends after trusting God in a big way (That could be a whole other blog post). These girls quickly became my few. Some were my running partners and some were just solid, Jesus-loving girls. Finally my prayer was answered. Sometimes I still forget I have some genuine people who love me for who I am and fall into the world's traps of telling me I am not loved, but then I am reminded even if I was alone God still calls me his beloved child. It took way longer than I expected or wanted to find friends who were genuine girls who loved Jesus as much as me, but God taught me a lot through the many years it took.

He taught me:

• You are NEVER alone in this world, you always have the Holy Spirit

• You are not of this world and do not belong, don't try to fit into something you weren't made for

• You WILL make mistakes in finding your way, but no matter what, you were never a mistake

• It is okay to stand out, you weren't born identical to anyone

• You have family and friends who love you

But most of all...

God looks at you and says "Child, you are mine" and tells the devil "that one, she's mine"

Throughout my time learning okay to be alone and waiting on my few I found this song by Hunter Hayes. The lyrics of the last verse really hit me hard now as a reminder of where I have been

"These labels that they give you

just 'cause they don't understand

If you look past this moment

You'll see you've got a friend

Waving a flag for who you are

And all you're gonna do

Yeah, so here's to you

And here's to anyone who's ever felt invisible"

I would encourage you to go listen to this song if you have ever been in the boat I have.

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​Remember:

1. Jesus and his few did not care about what they looked like, they just cared about loving all of those around them.

2. If you don't have your few, don't give up on prayer.

3. When searching for your few know you are never alone.

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I would like to give a special thanks to my few. You know when you are. You have given me such joy and sometimes I forget to thank you for all you do for me. Y'all are the best people in the world. Let's go love some people in the name of Jesus!