18 Things I Learned in my 18th Year
- Adeline F
- Sep 13, 2019
- 7 min read
I turn 19 on Saturday the 14th and I decided to write out some of the lessons I learned this past year. Most of these are still a work in progress because I am a human. I do not know all the answers, but I know these things to be true and hope they help you too.
People come and go in your life, but they are in or out of your life for a reason. This past year I had lots of people come into my life again after a season being away and it was either a really good thing or something I had to work through. Some people just challenge you in every aspect of you life and you have to work hard to love them despite how they make you feel. Some people were out of my life and when they came back it was something really beautiful for the time they were in my life again.
Annoying/bad things are going to happen to you that you cannot control no matter how hard you try to prevent them. In life we experience all kinds of hardships, trials, and just plain annoying things. At the beginning of my 18th year I tried to avoid any type of pain possible in fears of, well... pain. I have now learned through this past year that God uses pain to teach valuable lessons he cannot any other way. I have learned that I would rather take a risk and make a decision while I am filled with the Spirit than to make no decision trying to avoid pain and in turn, experience more pain. When you have the God of the whole universe on your side temporary pain is nothing compared to the goodness you will experience soon enough.
Humans are humans and we all fall short sometimes. Give people grace. I used to be hyper-critical of every choice people (especially people in authority positions) would make. I always saw myself as this higher being who would not make those same mistakes. NEWSFLASH most of the time I would end up making those same mistakes they did and then feel bad for being so critical of them. People are imperfect, but still God's children. Everyone goes through a lot more than we ever know or understand. Mistakes happen, people, even the closest to you, fail you, it may hurt you really bad maybe make you not ever want to talk to them again, but God lavished grace on us, why not lavish some on them?
Forgiveness is a hard but very necessary aspect of humanity. I had some experiences this past year where I was wronged in ways I may never understand. In some cases people around me told me I had a right to be mad and not forgive. I knew this was not right and I needed to forgive like Christ forgave me. I learned forgiveness is a lot more than saying you forgive someone, it is a heart transformation. You have to release those feeling of anger and resent towards that person and allow love to take over. What they did may never make sense, but allowing forgiveness brings so much peace and allows you to move on with life. The longer yo hold on to anger and resentment, the more you start to be an ugly person yourself. Once you forgive you feel like life can finally move on. You may always have a sore spot, but you can see what you learned from that experience and move on.
He's bigger than I thought. The song by Passion Bigger Than I Though has been an anthem of mine since hearing it at Passion last January. God truly is way bigger than we ever give him credit for. His hand is in every day and recognizing all that he is doing in my every day has made me fall even more in love with him.
Community is vital to success in life. You CANNOT do this life alone. We aren't made to and we aren't called to. The other day at life church a quote from the message was "We're created for connection, but we drift toward isolation." We cannot do this life alone, but we tend to drift in times of heartache and pain. Friends, let me tell you when you have a community who can pray over you, cry with you, and just be there with you through it all life feels manageable in those times. God made us creatures of community so that we can lean on each other and point each other towards Him in those hard and even the good times. Celebrating with my community over something amazing God has done is just as important as coming to them with my hurts.
Worship music is 10/10 way to meet with God in the car. Lets be real if you don't know this fact you need to get on it ASAP. Crank that worship playlist up and sing at the top of your lungs. Whether its you alone or with some friends, car worship is another level of goodness.
Laughing is a necessity to life. I have always been a big laugher. No matter what type of situation I am in, laughing makes everything ten times better. Laugh some today everyone!
Get yourself that cookie. Seriously. Go eat one or five today. You have a higher metabolism right now so go eat one.
Work out in some capacity almost everyday. It does not have to be running 10 miles or lifting for 5 hours, but just getting your body moving everyday helps with your well-being. I have noticed when I do not workout I feel like I am not myself. I am not alert, as happy, and get stressed way easier. Working out has helped me love my body, helped me get up early and get stuff done, and given me an opportunity to disconnect from the world for an hour or two everyday.
Trust your body. It knows more than you acknowledge. As a runner trusting your body is vital to your training and performance. I had never had issues listening to my body's signals until my last track season. I was driven like no other and working out at a much heavier rate than ever before. The problem is I stopped listening to my body's natural signals I was overtraining. Life was very busy, being the end of my senior year, and I just decided to not listen to the signals. I ended up losing my period for the majority of the actual season. I had major issues with my posterior tib and was convinced I had a stress fracture (I didn't). Yet I kept running. It was my last (and most successful) season so I did not want to stop early. I did end up having some of my best races after that point, but I do not ever want to compromise my body for a result again. I am now trusting my body and giving it rest when it needs it.
Leaving your friends is so sad, but college brings so many amazing people and opportunities to your life. People say you meet some of the best people in college and I cannot believe how right they are. All the Christian communities are so good because the people they choose to be there not their parents telling them to be there. Everyone is willing to be friends because we all want a community. If you get lucky like me you'll meet these people quickly and if not, those people are coming your way I promise. College is the land of new adventures and opportunities. I had to take advice from multiple people telling me to just take risks and step out of my comfort zone in college because I am normally reserved, but I am so glad I took that advice seriously.
Waiting sucks. No matter what it is, waiting sucks. I have had to learn so much patience in the past year as I was in a serious time of waiting on the Lord's timing. I definitely am still in that season, but I have learned a lot about trusting the timing of the Lord. This does not make waiting easy, but it makes it a lot more bearable and fruitful.
Spending time in the word is vital, especially in times of change. I have always been an advocate for journaling prayers, fears, and Bible observations. It is such a good time to see how the Lord is working. I can go back and look at how faithful the Lord is. This summer I made it a major goal to just dive into the word as much as possible to continue my habits in college. It was such a sweet time getting ready for a new season to dive into the word and meet with God. I was able to give him all my fears and doubts and he was able to lavish his peace upon me in that time. Now I see fruit from it and am so close to God right now its so good!
God may ask you to do crazy things; Trust him anyway. use past experiences to help you trust Him. Things God calls us to rarely make total sense when we first hear them. They are scary and seriously make you question what you're doing. That is normal. What we have to remember is that God is bigger than we are and has the whole picture, we only get the next step. He is working all things for the good of those who love him and his purpose. Use your past experiences of his faithfulness to help you trust in the next step. Do not forget where he has brought you through.
Trust God's perfect timing. He knows a lot more than you do. I have touched on this in many of my other points. God has timing so perfect sometimes I just laugh so hard because it would never be that way if I chose timing, but I know his is perfect. He has the whole plan, it is a lot less scary if you remember that.
Keep praying for those non-believing friends. Seriously. God's timing is amazing and it is so good. You may never see it come to fruition, but you are helping plant seeds. When you do see someone you have prayed for come to know Christ it is one of the greatest feelings of affirmation ever. KEEP PRAYING and show them your love no matter what.
High school goes by quick. Your grades don't matter much, your prom dress isn't important, and if you had a boyfriend isn't important. College is a new start and nobody cares if you ran a 2 minute mile and won the state or got a B in chemistry sophomore year. Take time to enjoy the journey that is high school. Do not wish it away. You will remember the good and bad times fondly later. It'll be okay.
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